


New Year's Kisses With Consequences

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 08:36:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was not sure what had made me reach out to him in the end. We had just been backstage and laughing and fooling around and in the next moment, I’d had my hands in his hair and my lips against his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Year's Kisses With Consequences

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Romina & Tania (for helping me with the idea)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Romina+%26+Tania+%28for+helping+me+with+the+idea%29).



> Happy New Year to everyone!

Fuma’s POV

I was not exactly sure what had triggered the situation. Maybe it had been the euphoria of the long day, first Kouhaku, then Countdown, and maybe I had also hit my head when I had fallen off stage at the Countdown and was not to be held responsible for my actions. 

All I knew that I felt giddy and a little heady and had laughed way too much for the huge workload of the day, and Nakajima had always been by my side, and it had made me even more silly. Maybe this was how you felt when you were just a little drunk, pleasantly buzzed. Though I was not quite sure on what, exactly. Maybe on Nakajima’s smile, I thought fuzzily as I tried to focus my thoughts, but it was hard, when his tongue brushed against mine in the most amazing ways, reducing my brain to little sparks of electricity. 

I was not sure what had made me reach out to him in the end. We had just been backstage and laughing and fooling around and in the next moment, I’d had my hands in his hair and my lips against his.

Nakajima had kissed me back instantly, his arms going around my waist and his body melting against mine, and it had been perfect, even though Nakajima was sweaty and his hair was wet and full of hair products, but the feeling of his lips against mine and the sensations to be that close to him made me high in a whole new way. 

I did not even realize what exactly I was doing until the door opened, and I was even too fuzzy to really pull away from Nakajima, holding onto him and biting his lip in protest when he tried to disentangle himself. It was only when my mind registered Kawai’s high pitched cackle that I blinked, letting Nakajima push me away before turning my head slowly. 

Kawai and Tsukada stood in the doorway, grinning at us in a totally smug way, and waving when we stared back like two deer caught in the headlights. 

“Sorry to interrupt your moment” Kawai teased. “But Kento, we have Katori-San waiting for us outside, and as much as he might approve of some member ai, we should not be late for the show.”

I saw Nakajima nodding almost in trance, quickly turning around to grab his things. I still felt like my brain had not quite caught on to what was happening here, staring at Kawai and Tsukada as if in trance, until Kawai caught my eye and said indulgingly: “Sorry to cockblock for the next 2 hours, you can fuck him against the wall after he comes back.”

Nakajima threw a wet towel right into his face at that, making Kawai shriek and Tsukada fall into a laughing fit, and Nakajima’s face was red as he met my eyes for a brief moment before shoving them outside, closing the door behind himself. 

I still stared at the closed door in trance before asking myself (out loud): “Did I just kiss Nakajima?!”

The empty room did not answer (thank god), but the answer was obvious anyways, from the way my lips still kind of tingled, and I gulped, allowing myself to panic just a tiny bit. 

I did not come far with my panic, though, because not even an hour after I had returned home (spending it on my bed, staring at the cealing and thinking “shit shit shit” over and over again), the door bell rang and I was face to face with Nakajima again. 

“Are your parents home?” he asked as he pushed me backwards impatiently, letting himself in and kicking the door shut. 

“No” I blinked. “They are at my grandma’s with my siblings.”

That seemed to be all Nakajima needed, because in the next moment, his lips were on mine again, and I instantly forgot all about this being potentially wrong or complicated. Nakajima’s lips felt amazing against mine, plush and demanding and a tiny bit addicting, and I had my hands back in his hair (now soft and without products and still a tiny bit damp from the shower) faster than I would have thought possible. 

It was a little difficult to get Nakajima out of his shoes and both of us up the stairs into my room when we refused to stop kissing even for one second of the way, but when the door finally fell closed behind him, I backed Nakajima up against it, pressing the whole length of my body against his, squeezing a moan out of him. 

I was not sure when exactly I had lost control over myself. I had never actually been aware of liking Nakajima _that way_. Sure, he was my best friend and I enjoyed his presence a lot, and every now and then, I had had to admit that he looked good at a photo shoot or something, but he was an idol, for god’s sake. Not admitting to him being attractive would have made me seem more than a little ridiculous. 

But now I was here, fumbling with the zipper of his jeans and trying to pull his shirt over his head without breaking our kiss, and I was pretty sure that this was not part of the job description of “best friend”. 

Nakajima was far from complaining though, because when he actually broke away from my lips for air (and because I was kind of strangling him with his own shirt), he pushed me backwards until the back of my knees hit the side of my bed, making me fall onto it with a little yelp. 

When I looked up at Nakajima again, he was impatiently pulling his shirt and his pants off before attacking my own sweat pants. 

I loved how his fingers were shaking just that tiny bit in obvious want, and how he obviously did seem to care as little about rationality as me in this very moment, making me forget my last bit of doubt as well as he climbed onto the bed with me, resting his naked body against mine. 

I had never slept with a guy before, but like always when Nakajima and I worked together, we worked things out pretty quickly and uncomplicated. I still had the bottle of lube Hokuto had given me for my eighteenth birthday, and Nakajima had a condom in his wallet from a give away at his university, and everything just somehow fell into place. 

Nakajima was oddly responsive when I prepared him, opening up under my fingers quicker than I would have thought possible, but I was past the point of asking questions. He felt incredibly good from the insides, and I wanted to burn the faces and the noises he made into my memory, to take them with me as my personal treasure. 

When I finally thrust into Nakajima, he was tight and hot and amazing and I was not sure how to deal with all of it. He kept kissing me and moving against me, meeting my thrusts, and it helped a little, just like the way he was clinging to my back, the pressure of his fingers oddly grounding. 

Nakajima became clingier the closer he got, wrapping his arms and legs fully around me as if he wanted me to crawl completely into him, and it made everything all the hotter because it was hard to tell where he ended and I began and I kind of never wanted this to end. 

Which was impossible, with the way we moved against each other, and when I hit his prostate with my thrusts, Nakajima tightened around me even more, and I knew that I would not be able to hold on for much longer. 

Nakajima came first, with my name on his lips, and the way he shook in my arms and the look on his face pulled me over the edge only seconds later, all the sensations overwhelming me. 

When I woke up the next morning, my head was still resting on Nakajima’s chest, and he was fast asleep, his heart beating slowly and evenly against my ear. I listened to it for a while, letting it relax me even through the panicked thoughts that started to creep their way into my brain again. 

I had slept with Nakajima. My best friend, and my band mate. That was bad, wasn’t it? 

But it had not felt bad, I thought as I reveled in the warmth of Nakajima’s body. It still didn’t. It had felt amazing, and I kind of wanted to do it again. I had not been aware that sex could feel like this, I thought fuzzily as I squirmed in Nakajima’s arms until I was able to look at his sleeping face. So simply mind-blowing and uncomplicated. 

Maybe it was _because_ it was Nakajima, I decided. We had always worked perfectly together, and apparently, sex was no exception there. 

My thoughts were interrupted when Nakajima stirred, and I continued staring at his face, waiting for him to slowly blink his eyes open and come back to himself. When his eyes finally met mine, his lips formed a small smile, and he murmured a sleepy: “Happy new year.”

It made me crack up, resting my head on his shoulder as I laughed, and Nakajima stretched, closing his eyes again.

“We really slept with each other, didn’t we?” he murmured finally, sounding a little awed. 

“We did” I agreed. “And it was awesome.”

“It was” Nakajima smiled, his fingers finding my messy hair and playing with it. 

“We should repeat it” I said simply, my eyes on his face as I waited for an answer.

Nakajima’s smile just widened, and he turned his head to find my lips again.

“We should” he nodded, and I felt just a little bit ecstatic when I met his lips to seal the deal. 

Sleeping with Nakajima was the best decision I had made for the new year, I decided quickly. Nakajima was around me 24/7 anyways, always there when I got in the mood, and quick to be convinced if you had the right tools at hand. 

I was quick to find out what Nakajima liked. He was pretty sensitive when you touched or kissed his neck and throat, and with a little bit of teasing, he would eventually give in. 

Sneaking away in between work hours was more of a challenge, especially with band members like Sou and Marius, but quickly, we had a usable knowledge of the most convenient broom cupboards and rarely used meeting rooms, and had developed a way of communicating without words.

It was when Hokuto approached me about the matter that things started to get complicated for the first time.

“Why did you not tell me that you and Kento are together?!” Hokuto asked in an almost offended voice when he met me in the bathroom. “Why do I have to hear it from Tsukada?!”

I cursed Tsukada in my head for a moment, wondering how many people he had already told, before saying defensively: “We are _not_ together!”

“Then what was that about him and Kawai walking in on you two making out after the countdown?!” he shot back, crossing his arms. 

I rolled my eyes, turning to the sink to wash my hands. 

“We kind of… have a thing going on” I admitted, not looking at him. “But it’s not like we are in a relationship. It’s strictly physical.”

Hokuto gaped at me like I had just introduced to him that Nakajima was really a sex android Yamada owned and lent to me every now and then.

“What do you mean, ‘strictly physical’?!” he demanded. “You sleep with each other, but are not together?!”

“Yes” I shrugged. “It works.”

“You can’t tell me that it works!” Hokuto shook his head. “You and Kento will _never_ be able to sleep with each other without developing feelings. I thought you were the one knowing Kento best. I would bet my whole career that he is in love with you if he lets you touch him!”

“That’s nonsense!” I groaned in annoyance. “We are just fooling around, and he knows that! Everything is great!”

“Yeah” Hokuto chuckled, rolling his eyes in obvious sarcasm. “Sure. Then wait until the first time someone gets jealous and possessive, or the first time you accidentally trample all over Kento’s heart with all your ‘friends with benefits’ shit. Let’s see how ‘great’ it will be then.”

“Shut up and stay out of our business!” I hissed, seriously angry now, and when Hokuto merely glared back, I left without another word. 

“We should set up rules” I said to Nakajima the next day between photo shoots, making him look up at me over his lunch with big eyes.

“What rules?” he enquired, munching on his onigiri, and I shrugged as I plopped down next to him on the couch.

“You know, stuff” I said helplessly. “Stuff that keeps this from getting complicated.”

“What is supposed to be complicated?” Nakajima asked in confusion, obviously not getting my point, and I frowned as I tried to think.

“Well, first of all, no jealousy” I suggested. “Jealousy is complicated, and we don’t want that. So no possessiveness. And no feelings.”

Nakajima’s face was guarded as he looked at me, but he did not protest, so I just continued.

“Also, like, no fighting. And no lying. We should talk to each other openly when there is something wrong. Also, if one of us wants to end this, there should be no hard feelings. After all, we need to still work together afterwards, and are good friends.”

It was a little unnerving how Nakajima did not answer, but then Marius and Sou stormed the room and our conversation was abruptly ended anyways. 

Nakajima did not really meet my eyes for the rest of the day. It made me feel restless and weird, but when I asked him if there was something wrong (whispered as we were catching something to drink), he just shrugged, saying he was tired. 

It was when we had a quick break between dance rehearsals, and Nakajima withdrew into the dressing room, that I decided to do something about it. 

I locked the door behind me as I found Nakajima on the couch with his phone, not even looking up as I came in. It was only when I fell to my knees in front of him, nudging his knees apart for me to fit in between, that he finally paid me some attention.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a frown as I attacked his zipper. 

“Isn’t that obvious?” I asked with a smile, chuckling at him as he only raised an eyebrow. “Gosh, you are so tense today.”

“I told you I am tired” he almost snapped. “What in earth made you think – _ohh._ ”

I chuckled as Nakajima’s eyes fell shut the moment my fingers closed around his cock, squeezing him tightly as I pulled it out. 

“Then just lean back and enjoy” I said sweetly before leaning in. 

The feeling of Nakajima’s cock in my mouth was nothing new anymore, not by far, and if anyone had ever told me that I would enjoy this so much before I had started this thing with him, well, I would have probably hit them. But there was just something about the way Nakajima reacted when we were like this, the way I could systematically break him down, and how his fingers tightened in my hair in search for a fragile control.

Nakajima was rougher than usual today, though, and I was not sure what he was letting out on me, but I did not complain as he held my head still and thrust into my mouth, just relaxed my jaw and took it, trying to be fast enough to lick him in between his thrusts. 

It was strangely hot, and I pulled my arms around his waist, searching for something to hold onto as Nakajima continued fucking my mouth, racing to a finish. 

When he came, he tensed in my arms, and I stroked his lower back softly, licking him clean before plopping off and resting my cheek against his thigh, nuzzling his hip with my nose.

“Better?” I whispered, feeling a little relieved as a small smile spread over Nakajima’s face. 

After that incident, something in the dynamics of Nakajima and my ‘thing’, as I tended to call it, changed. Nakajima became more dominant towards me, more aggressive, and though it took me off guard at first, I could not deny that I kind of liked it. 

Nakajima was hot when he was demanding, and it made me want to submit to him in ways that I had never thought I was able to.

“Say my name” Nakajima had growled once, squeezing my hips as he thrust into me, making me claw at the wall of the broom cupboard in desperation.

“W-what?” I whimpered, gasping as his next thrust hit my prostate dead-on. 

“Say my name!” he demanded again, aiming for that spot again, making me whimper. “And if you say Nakajima, I swear I will stop!”

I was silent for a moment, not sure if I was even able to speak, but then Nakajima held in, waiting, and I took in a stuttering breath, my voice desperate when I whispered: “K… Kento…”

“Louder” Nakajima demanded, moving again, only a short snap of his hips, and I whimpered, murmuring: “ _Kento_ … Please… Please don’t stop…”

I almost sobbed in relief when Nakajima’s arms closed around my waist after that, and he held me as he picked up a quick rhythm again, bringing us both straight to completion. 

Everything stayed more or less the same, though, until that one day when Yamada suddenly started flirting with Nakajima in Shounen Club. 

At first I found it funny, because Nakajima’s eyes were practically heart shape and his expressions never failed to crack me up, but as it continued throughout the show, I slowly felt an unknown frustration build up inside of me. 

I had always known that Nakajima had a thing for Yamada, of course, one would have been blind not to, but Yamada had never showed any interest in him, so I had never thought much about it. But suddenly, Yamada did, and it continued even when the cameras were not rolling, and it started to seriously annoy me.

“What is wrong?” Nakajima asked when I got out of the shower after the show, being the only one left in the dressing room. “You are terrible at hiding it when you are pissed off.”

“I am not pissed off” I snapped, though my tone showed that I clearly was, and Nakajima merely raised his eyebrows at it instead of shying back from my tone, like everyone else would have. Maybe he knew me too well, after all.

“Is this about Yamada-Kun?” he asked calmly. 

“No!” I groaned. “You can practically rub off on whoever you want, I don’t fucking care!”

“I thought we agreed on no jealousy?” he reminded me, and his voice was almost smug, making me snap.

“I. Am. Not. _Jealous_!” I growled, grabbing my bag and glaring at him. “Go fuck Yamada if you want to, it is none of my business!”

With that, I dashed for the door, throwing it closed behind me. 

That night, I had a night mare about Nakajima _actually_ sleeping with Yamada, and it had me bathed in sweat when I woke up, feeling disoriented and finding it impossible to go back to sleep. 

The next morning at work, Nakajima approached me straight away, his face serious, and I was about to snap at him that I did not want to talk about Yamada again when he said firmly: “Fuma, we need to talk.”

“About what?” I asked suspiciously, dropping my bag to my table and eyeing him wearily.

“About us” Nakajima shrugged, and he seemed strangely closed off, making it hard for me to read him. It left me in confusion for a moment, before he continued speaking, and I needed to tune in to understand what he was saying again. “I cannot do this anymore, Fuma. Let’s quit.”

“What?” I asked quietly, my eyes meeting his, my heart pounding uncomfortably in my chest again. “Why?”

“I don’t want to anymore” Nakajima shrugged awkwardly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Is it because of Yamada?” I asked weakly. “Did you really hit it off with him?”

“This has nothing to do with Yamada-Kun!” Nakajima called in exasperation. “This is about _us_ , and I’m just tired of putting out for you!”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice strangely high. “I thought everything was going fine! We have fun together and-“

“I broke a rule, if you want to know!” Nakajima interrupted me, his gaze on mine strangely heavy. “No feelings. I was not following that one from the start.”

I only stared at him, trying to understand what he was saying, and Nakajima broke our eye contact, focusing on the mirror behind me as he continued.

“I’ve been in love with you since forever, really” he said quietly. “Long before this thing between us started.”

“B-but-“ I started to protest, only to be cut off by Nakajima as he continued.

“When you kissed me on New Year’s, I thought you finally felt the same thing for me” he shrugged. “It took me a while, to understand that this was just sex to you. You just decided that our relationship was strictly physical, but you never asked me what I thought about that. Well, now you know.”

I was unable to speak, only continuing to stare at him, and when Nakajima met my eyes again, I could see all the pain and the hurt inside of him, and it made me feel like throwing up. 

“I thought that I could still turn it around” he murmured. “That I could _make_ you love me. But last night I just understood that that won’t happen. That I am making a fool of myself, and that I am only hurting myself with it. So it’s time to get out.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but I was not quite sure what, so I closed it again. My mind was spinning and I wondered if that was what it felt like to have your circulation collapsing, but then Sou opened the door, and Nakajima turned to him, throwing him a smile and greeting him like nothing even had happened.

Like he had not just confessed to me and dumped me. 

I felt like I was walking on a very thin layer of ice all day. I could not bear looking at Nakajima because every time I did, everything inside of me started hurting, and I forgot how to breathe. 

I withdrew myself into one of the empty meeting rooms I had discovered with Nakajima for lunch break, trying hard not to remember how it had felt like to kiss him against the very same table I was sitting at now and eat my lunch even though I had no appetite at all.

When the door opened, I hoped for a strangely intense moment that it would be Nakajima, but instead, Hokuto came in, looking at me with a sour look on his face.

“I heard what happened” he said quietly, leaning against the closed door. “Kento told me about it.”

“He told you that he broke up with me?” I blinked, and Hokuto chuckled bitterly, shaking his head.

“I thought you could not break up when you were never a couple?” he scoffed. 

I fell silent, gingerly playing with my untouched food. Hokuto sighed. 

“I asked him about what was going on a while ago” Hokuto explained. “And he told me that he liked you, and that he thought that maybe, he could make you realize that you liked him, too. So I agreed to help him, and went to talk to Yamada.”

My eyes snapped up to his face, and Hokuto met my gaze firmly.

“I thought if I could make you jealous, you would realize that you had feelings for Kento” he shrugged. “And that you would finally stop with this shit then. Kento did not know, in case you want to blame him. I had no idea that it would backfire like that, either.”

“Who asked you to meddle in our affairs?!” I called angrily, but Hokuto called back, just as loudly: “Do not put the blame on me, you fucked it up all alone! You kept insisting that fucking Kento meant nothing to you, so this is what you get for it!”

All possible responses died in my throat, and I gulped, looking down at my food again. 

“Just look at yourself!” Hokuto snapped. “You look like someone just ripped your heart out and ate it! Don’t tell me that you don’t love Kento, because I don’t fucking believe you!”

“Just get out!” I called angrily. “You really meddled enough for a life time!”

“Yeah, because that’s what good friends do!” Hokuto groaned. “But whatever, I will not bother anymore! Drown in your despair, I won’t lift a finger anymore!”

With that, he turned around and left the room, throwing the door shut behind himself, and I had to resist the urge to throw my lunch at it. 

I really kept trying to tell myself that it would be okay. That Nakajima would get over it, and after a while, we could be friends again, because nothing could really tear us apart. We had always been inseparable.

But as Nakajima kept avoiding me, not even meeting my eyes, I realized how lonely I felt without him by my side. It was not even the need to have sex with him – I could not have cared less about that at the moment – it was the fact that I missed his presence in my life. The way he talked, the sound of his laughter, and the way his eyes shone when he smiled. 

I missed it to talk _to_ him, instead of watching him talk to other people. I missed waking up next to him and smelling him and feeling his warmth even before I opened my eyes. And I missed kissing him, not making out, just kissing, feeling his lips against mine when we had already long finished and there was no urgency left anymore, just the need for intimacy. 

I buried my face in my pillow at the thought, trying hard not to cry because _fuck_. I hated being wrong, and above all, I hated admitting to being wrong, but the longer I was separated from Nakajima, the more I realized that Hokuto had been right. 

I loved him. I had probably loved him all along, but had been too stupid to realize it until it had hit me straight in the face on New Year’s. But because I had been a coward and had feared complications, I had insisted that my feelings were strictly physical, that there was nothing more to it.

Only that like this, I had _made_ it complicated. If I had just admitted to myself that I liked Nakajima right from the start, maybe it would have all been easy. Natural, like our very first night together. 

But no, I had had to go and fuck everything up, of course. Good job, Fuma. 

Without thinking, I scrambled for my phone, searching Nakajima in my contacts. I stared at his contact picture for a moment, before clicking on IM and slowly typing a message.

_I am sorry. I miss you._

I stared at it for about 5 minutes before I just pressed send, and then for another 5 minutes at the chat window, waiting for him to respond. The little arrow showed me that he had read the message, but, as expected, no answer came. 

It was that realization that made my tears spill over.

After admitting to myself that I was indeed in love with Nakajima, being in his presence seemed to be infinitely harder. I knew that I should apologize, should probably ask him to forgive me and give us another chance, but I just could not bring myself to reach out to him.

I knew that I had hurt him a lot, and that alone made me hate myself too much to ask him to forgive me. I did not deserve for him to forgive me. I had fucked up.

I had not counted on Sou, of all people, to speak up, though. It totally took me off guard when, one evening while waiting for our manager to give us our schedules for the next day so that we could leave, as we were sitting in the dressing room each focused on their phone or book or whatever they had to hand at that very moment, Sou suddenly stood up and crossed his arms with a sour look on his face.

“I’ve had enough” he groaned. “You two are going to talk now, or I am going insane!”

I needed a moment before I realized that Sou was actually talking to me, and to Nakajima, obviously.

“What do you mean?” Nakajima asked quietly, carefully putting down his phone, and Sou glared at him. 

“Don’t think we are stupid!” Sou groaned. “Even Mari can tell that Fuma-Kun looks like he is dying inside, and that should tell you something!”

“Don’t talk like you know what’s going on!” Nakajima hissed dangerously.

“I don’t!” Sou said loudly. “But I can tell that something is not right with you two! There is something wrong with the world when Nakajima Kento and Kikuchi Fuma avoid each other, and I really want you to fix that, for your own sake!”

Nakajima fell silent, not looking up at me though he must have felt my gaze on him. 

We were all kept from saying something more, though, when our manager came in, handing out our schedules. He stayed a little to discuss a promo event for Gin no Saji with Nakajima, and I stalled a little, wondering if I should try to catch him for a talk like Sou hat suggested, watching as Shori and Mari practically fled the room. 

When the manager left as well, Sou watched us for a moment, me fumbling with my phone and Nakajima packing his things, before he went for the door with a firm look on his face. 

I flinched a little when he threw the door closed behind himself, but froze when a low clicking sound followed. 

Nakajima looked up at that too, blinking before crossing the room and pressing the handle. My heart fell when I saw him pulling at the door, without any success.

“SOU!” Nakajima called angrily, banging at the door. “This is not funny! Open the door!”

But apparently, Sou was already gone, like the rest of the agency, it seemed, and I watched in silence as Nakajima kicked the door before leaning his forehead against it. 

I stared at Nakajima’s back for another moment, Sou’s words repeating themselves in my head, before I decided that it was now or never. If I did not speak up now, I never would.

“I am sorry” I said quietly, my eyes on Nakajima’s shoulders as they tensed. I wanted nothing more than to reach out to him, to hold him against me and feel his warmth again, but I knew that he would not let me. 

“I did not plan for things to turn out like this” I continued finally, when Nakajima had still not spoken up. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Stop it” Nakajima groaned finally, still not looking up at me. “I don’t want to hear it. Why did you think I ignored your message?!”

“I know” I murmured quietly, biting my lip. “I know, but… We are stuck in this room together. Maybe you can just do me the favor and listen?”

“No!” Nakajima groaned, finally turning around to face me, if only with a firm glare. “You listen to me! It’s not okay to tell me that you miss me! Do you know what these kind of things do to me?!”

“But it’s the truth” I whispered. 

“What truth?!” Nakajima demanded angrily. “What do you miss?! The sex?! You can get that from whoever you want, you don’t need me!”

“You know exactly that you are more than just sex to me!” I protested, a little louder now. “We were attached by the hips for 5 years before we slept with each other, for god’s sake!”

“But apparently I was unimportant enough to risk our friendship for sex!” Nakajima yelled. “So really, how can you miss me now?!”

“I know I made a mistake!” I called, and suddenly, the tears were back in my eyes, but I kept yelling through them, because it was time to finally get it all out, no matter what would happen afterwards. “I was too stupid to realize what you really mean to me until you were gone, and now I can’t stop thinking about you, about your smile and your eyes and the way it felt to kiss you, and I hate myself for it! I miss _you_ , not your body or the sex, but everything that makes you _you_ and it goes to the point that I wished I had never even touched you so I wouldn’t know what it felt like to wake up next to you!”

“Stop it!” Nakajima groaned, not looking at me. “Just stop.”

“No, I won’t!” I called, but it sounded more like a sob through the tears that were falling freely now. “You said you wanted to make me realize how much I loved you! Well, here I am, telling you that I love you! You were right, and I feel horrible for making you suffer! And now please tell me what to do, because you’re always so much smarter than me in these things anyways! Tell me what to do to make it right again!”

Nakajima shook his head, but I could see the tears in his eyes as well, and it was what made me cross the distance between us.

Nakajima protested as I pulled him into a hug, but just held onto him, pressing my face to his shoulder as I tried to dampen my tears.

“I’m sorry” I repeated, my voice choked. “I am sorry, Kento. I love you. Please give me another chance.”

He was shaking in my embrace, and I felt his reaction to his first name all through his body, making me hold onto him tighter.

“I really want to punch you right now” Kento whispered, making me gulp. 

I hesitated for a moment, before letting go of him and taking a step back.

“Then do it” I whispered, catching Kento’s eyes. “Do it, I won’t fight you. I know I deserve it.”

I closed my eyes at that, balling my fist and waiting. At first, nothing happened, and just when I wanted to open my eyes again, I heard movement.

Kento’s fist hit me in the stomach, unexpectedly hard, and it took my breath away. I did expect it even less though, when, a second later, Kento’s hands cradled my face, and his lips were on mine. 

For a moment, it was still hard to breathe, and I wondered if I would pass out from lack of oxygen, but as I laced my fingers through his hair, returning the kiss, I figured that even if I did, it would be worth it. 

Kento kissed me like he was a parching wanderer and I was the water, pulling me as close as he could, and my head was spinning from all the emotions because Kento was kissing me, and I could feel his body against mine and it was all so real and so much that I felt like crying again. 

Instead I just held onto him as tightly as I could, figuring that I never ever would let go of him again for anything in the world. 

Kento seemed to agree, because it seemed an eternity that we were just standing there and kissing, no one intending to move away. When finally, Kento broke apart for air, he stayed close enough to rest his forehead against mine, his hands fisting my shirt.

“I swear, Fuma” he whispered. “If this is another joke, say it now, because I am not going to-“

“I love you” I said quickly, making him fall silent. “With feelings and jealousy and _complications_ and everything that’s involved. If Yamada gets close to you again I swear I will hit him.”

That startled a choked chuckle out of Kento, and he pulled away to meet my eyes. 

“I only come in a relationship package this time” he said seriously. “No games.”

“Seriously? I would marry you right now if that means you’ll not leave me again” I murmured, before realizing what I was saying and shaking my head in wonder. “Gosh, see how out of my mind I am?! What are you doing to me?!”

“Yeah, I know, a heart can be confusing if you never used it before” Kento said with a straight face, but when I only blinked at him dumbly, he smiled. “I’d better teach you how it works.”

With that, he brought our lips together again, and I just melted against him, thinking quietly that I probably gave my heart into the hands of the very best person anyways.

Kento and I stayed stuck in the dressing room all night. At some point, the energy turned itself off, making us clumsily find the couch to spend the night on it, cuddled together under our jackets. 

We did not sleep with each other. Instead, we talked in soft voices all night, exchanging soft touches and caresses, and deep slow kisses, and it still felt much more intimate than anything we had ever done before. 

When I woke up the next morning, my face was pressed into Kento’s throat, and I felt a small spark of euphoria going through me, keeping me from noticing that we were not alone in the room. 

When there was a very familiar cackling voice to be heard, I blinked and raised my head just in time to catch Tsukada snatching a photo of us with his phone.

“Just for Hokuto” Kawai informed us. “This time he will not call us insane.”

I tried to think up something to say, but I seemed past the point of embarrassment or anger, so I just let my head fall onto Kento’s shoulder again, taking in his scent and letting Tsukada snatch another photo. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? :)


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